I have never given up anything for lent before, but this year around the Lenten season I began to ask myself, "What could I give up for lent?" A long list of items came into my mind: candy, soda, dairy, gluten, screen time, etc. You know, the usual. But then I asked myself, "How would giving up those items help me to grow?" As that seems to be the intention behind the self-denial, I wanted to be able to gain something through this experience. Giving up sugar might make me slightly more healthy, but would it make a lasting impact? I don't think so. I wanted to force myself to dig deeper. So then I asked myself, "What do I desperately not want to give up for lent?"
And the answer? Make-up.
Make-up is my confidence in a bottle, but it also feeds an insecurity as well as uses up my time. So I decided to give up make-up for lent (along with my Pintrest and Facebook iphone apps) and instead use the time it would normally take me in the morning to read a devotional or spend quiet time with God (which seems to be the first thing that falls of my schedule when things get hectic). But this experience included more than just giving God more time in my schedule. It was also about letting Him into the way I think about myself.
Whenever I felt insecure throughout the day, I would force myself to thank God for creating me beautifully in His image. At first it was really hard, and my "thanks" to God was forced and hesitant. In the first week or two, several people told me that I looked tired or asked me if I was ok. That was discouraging because it's not nice to feel like your normal face looks unhappy or defeated. But then It started to slide into place. I began to shift from, "Man, if only I put on a little mascara I would look so much better! Maybe no one would notice if I broke my make-up fast...." to seeing myself as having innate beauty. I mean, I am definitely not anywhere near model status, but I became confident in my exposed skin. But this revelation only came after I'd worked through some insecurities.
Towards the end if this experiment, my dear friend confronted me on having been really irritated and punchy lately. That stopped me in my tracks. Yes, it is true that I had been under an unusual amount of stress recently, but I also think I was trying to protect my exposed self. Without make-up, I felt more vulnerable. I think I was trying to compensate for that by subconsciously trying to keep people a little further away from me. Wow. Who knew I had those kinds of issues? But you know what? I was forced to address them, and that has caused more growth than I ever would have imagined coming from this project.
Today is March 29th, my marked end date for this experience. After a month, I finally ceremoniously unzipped my make-up bag. And you know what? There was a difference in the way I thought about this act. Instead of putting on make-up to cover up, I was putting it on to show off the features that God has given me. Instead of trying to counteract the parts of myself that I see as negative, I was playing with the make-up as if it were paint. It was actually fun! I put on the make-up today because it was a joy to experiment with colors instead of putting it on to change what I looked like.
Does that distinction make sense? Because it is revolutionary.
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| "Only Paolo can take THIS..." |
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| and THIS, and give you... |
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| a princess." |
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| Yeah, you know what I'm referencing. I definitely had my very own Princess Diaries moment. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWJ_Sg92epA
I truly did not expect this change in my viewpoint. Honestly, I could never have predicted it! Firstly because I hadn't realized the way I had begun to idolize make-up and secondly because I never thought I could feel so naturally beautiful, as if the make-up was entirely unneeded and only a fun activity.
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And you know what else? At least to me, it proved the truth of this meme. After seeing myself, without make-up for so long, it made my little night of dress-up all the more striking.
So there you have it. One of the hardest things I have ever done has also turned out to be one of the most revealing and transformative things I can ever remember doing. As I move on from this experience, I pray that God will help me to remember what He has taught me: I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of my Creator. Imago Dei. Forever and ever amen.
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"You are all together beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you." -Song of Solomon 4:7
"But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." -1 Peter 3:4
"Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come." -Proverbs 31:25
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| Feel inspired to try the No Make-up challenge? Go for it! Coming up next could be All Natural April, Minimal Make-Up May, Just Me June, etc. I promise you, it will change the way you think. I know it did for me. |
